What did I do?
Reflecting on the year which feels as if it went by in a flash.
Seriously though, this year feels as if it was in a hurry to go by and I feel it was a good thing. But also, a year has passed by so quickly you start to worry if you are losing time on this earth.
This feeling gives birth to one question - “what did I do?”
So, to not feel so down and hopeless at the start of new year, let me reflect of the year that has gone by.
What counts to me as a good year? To think of it - a straight answer would be how many core memories did I create, what all moments made me feel happy and did I do good in some way to some extent to other?
2025 started with nothing but hope that it would be good. cannot remember what I was doing at that time honestly - whole of January is blank. No memories kick in.
February is the same - March - still nothing. April - nothing. May - Nothing.
Aahhh, the two things I remember from May is I started doing night shifts at work and it was hectic but worth it. I did it for 3 months.
So, the night shift ended in July and by then I was being a nominee to become a full time employee. I didn’t keep any hopes because life did not give me a chance to be excited even though I wanted to be very excited for it.
Life for the past few years was so stagnant and down for me that I was scared to be excited for new things that were coming my way.
However, things did start working out in my favour at the second half of this year. So, maybe I was worried for nothing and if it is meant to happen it will happen.
So, the other thing that happened to me duing May-July is I developed a crush on a girl and have told her after a lot of overthinking in order to not ruin the friendship.
To not be so coward in the things I want in life - with courage in heart, I did tell her how I want her and I to be more than friends and I like her - it turned out that she was committed to another guy.
I know what you are thinking.
How did you not know? Well, I did not. Maybe I did not ask her or I didnt care to ask her? or I was scared to ask that question so to not break my heart.
However, since that was not going to happen - that friendship also faded because once such feelings come in the way, it is hard for me to be friends and act normal. I would rather give space and not disturb her and my peace.
So, those two things happened and July was my birthday.
Ohhh, as I was writing I remembered one of the most beautiful moments I thought I would not say anytime soon but happened - How can I forget , RCB winning the IPL trophy for the first time in 18 years.
It was June 3rd, 2025 - exactly, a month before my birthday and after getting to know RCB is going to lift the trophy, the tears in Kohli’s eyes, the winning moment, how whole team came and were hugging kohli, how kohli and ABD met, how kohli met Ravi Shastri. How Anushka and Kohli hugged after winning, the team lifting the trophy, the celebrations by RCB fans not only by fans in that stadium but everywhere else - I remember there were fireworks on roads next to our office… ahh - chills. The first gift for my birthday came a month early with this moment.
July 3rd was my birthday and on that day the amount of gifts I was showered with - I cried in my bed later that night thinking of how lucky I am to have such friends.
To an extent I was thinking if I really deserved to be receiving such gifts and could not take it that these were for me to keep. But then the love showered on me by my parents, brother, and friends cannot be matched on that day. Will keep this in my heart forever.
August was all Coolie hype. The bus conductor single handedly saving Tamil industry with mixed responses is peak inspiration for me. before the interval there is a scene where he realises his friend (SatyaRaj’s character) says Powerhouse, so he drinks the powerhouse raw and then washes his face with it - that individual scene was paisa wasool.
And the flashback potion and the music was bang on with rajini’s presence. I was in that mode for the rest of the month. In that same month - got the oppurtunity to move to a specialist team working on microsoft products - so my hardworking days kinda began.
Honestly did not know much about this domain but now I am atleast taking in the issues and doing something compared to when I joined this team.
In spetember, my friend in the previous team was made full time employee in the company and I was really happy for him because he deserved this more than anyone else in the circle I know of. The role and responsibilities he took up while working truly were deserving. So, seeing him become a full time employee was really an inspiring moment and also a joyful moment for me. One of my close friends acheivement was my achievement in that moment.
So, whole of october and november was me trying to figure out, learn how much ever possible, and try to be good. In this process, I was also made a full time employee. The trust the company put in me to do good - scares me and excites me at the same time but I decided to keep one thing in mind -
“Get better, then get good“
I was reminding myself of this line for the time and even now to improve my knowledge in the scope of the work I am in. It is helping and currently I am learning new things everyday. The job is keeping me completely occupied and honestly feels good to go to work everyday.
So, that was all till november. Then came - December.
This last month was full of partying, drinks, less sleep, more laughter, more purchases, and much more.
First was the friends outing to a farmhouse to chill and it was an amazing day we spent dancing, drinking, having deep conversations.
Then we had our year end party form the company - No booze but the vibe was good at the end when we danced as a team. [also good photos]
Then I purchased iphone 17 [first big purchase of my own] and the feeling of owning something by yourself is rewarding and feels responsible.
With that new responsible feeling in heart, went to bangalore and felt the warmth of people from my office. Oh the hospitality was worth the trip. My managers, leads, teamamtes, and everyone else were super warm and welcoming. The two day trip felt short.
On the thrid day went out to party and cannot say much but it was the one and only trip but the best trip of 2025.
Came home, had christmas at home with my school friends and it was lovely to have everyone at my home with parents.
The coming sunday inviting few of my friends from work and that was a night to remember. We played games, had good food, got out a few personal things out of others. Mostly I got to meet my friends again to end the year in a good note.
All in all, 2025 started really low, but ended in such a high that I have nothing but good hopes for the year 2026 with some huge responsibilities on my shoulder.
with such a good month of december I am mentally good to keep my head down and work on my things for 2026.
There are personal goals for me this year but I want ot come back as a reflection after doing those rather than saying them out loud for accountability and then miss/stop after a while.
Keeping this good positivity as an end note, the year 2025 has been a year of transformation for me towards the good end and hoping to work hard and keep the balance somewhat similar this year too.
So to answer my own question of what did I do? I survived and made it out with good memories. Next year want more of personal actions working. So, will work on that.
Hope you had a good year as well. If not, please do keep in mind - Hope is a good thing. And no good thing ever dies.
Happy new year from your internet friend - Melvin Raj.
Happy new year buddy! Really appreciate you taking time and writing this. And now I’m inspired and I’ll plan to write atleast for myself so that I can lookout in future. I did write some journals but about certain experiences.