The Curious Heart of Project Hail Mary

Reflective notes on Rocky from Project Hail Mary, the inner child, and becoming the friend we wish we had.

You know how when we were kids, we used to think about something and ask questions and be curious? We never let the thought in our mind be judged before it comes out because we were genuinely curious.

What happened to that version of ourselves? Maybe we got busy with responsibilities. Maybe we lost because of something that happened to us, and maybe we were told not to be childish, when that was the best way to be.

I watched Project Hail Mary in the Theatre and cried when I saw the character Rocky that was so innocently written. He was full of curiosity, full of hope, and so much more full of life than the actual humans in the movie and in the audience.

He gave us the thought that we want a Rocky in our life. That feeling was somewhat calling out our inner child and I remember, after the movie ended, a few days passed and I was using his lines as a way to bring tiny joys in my daily life.

I knew I was going to write about Rocky but for some reason I delayed and now since the movie is out on Amazon Prime for everyone to see, and it released on my 28th Birthday, I watched it again.

This time, I cried even harder, seeing how unconditional Rocky’s care is. He did not care about the outcome, but was present and gave everything he could in the moment. He watches over Grace, so he can protect who he has beside him without the thought of his own.

He says he has a mate, who he misses. This is honesty but when he says, he was with them, 183 years, and Grace says “that is a long time”, he doesn’t say, I know or It is… He simply says,

It’s not enough.

Showing the longing he has for his mate and the care he has for her. This made me weep. And later, planted a seed in my mind “How unconditional love can be a safe space for anyone in this world. It doesn’t need validation, it doesn’t need reassurance, It just knows it needs to be given.“ This is how I want to love the people in my life. Not a transactional one, but an unconditional one.

I broke down watching a character be so unconditional giving half his astrophage to Grace despite knowing it will take even longer to reach his home. Seeing someone so selfless, even with the people they love and care about, is rare nowadays. That broke me but gave me hope to be this for the people who I care about the most.

I have my friends who are selfless, and help me when I am need. They help me when I am in need of emotional regulation, understanding my own flaws by calling out, and also in ways that many families do not. I don't know what sacrifices they make to help me out, but they do and I am absolutely grateful for them. I want to be the Rocky for them.

I don’t mean to be this way with everyone, if you are this way with one of your people… that is enough.

He learns the ways of humans and says he likes Earth.

He does not say things for the sake of it, but genuinely means it. When Grace says his partner is with someone else, he could have said, You can or will find someone. but in his own way and with immense innocence says Rocky hates Ryan (or the person with whom Grace’s partner is). This sort of inner child energy is something we all are missing in our lives and I personally want to be this to my people.

I want to tell them, they look Amaze, Amaze, Amaze!!!!!! or have them talk about their life and be present in the moment. I want to tell them, that we both can save planets and destroy things that are causing harm to us and the people around us.

The inner child in us has a voice that slowly speaks when we are alone in our thoughts.

So, I am thankful for this character to exist and help remind me to bring our innocent inner child, just like Rocky, with people we care. I went from wanting to have a Rocky, to realizing I have many, and to wanting to be one for my people.

With this, I say goodbye to you Eridian style.